week 8 already!

havent done this in a while =X

thankful for:

-matt 6:33

-exodus (+ reading through Old Testament. always thought I wouldn't like it so much, but, nope! =D)

"He who sacrifices to any god, except to the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed" [Ex 22:20]

-piper & grudem book

-in-unit laundry. hMm ♥ smells so so good.

-three day weekends! (or rather, friday classes that are okay to skip =D)

-the bf =) happy 3months!

-cshin, b/c yeahhh =D

just so i dont forget

thankful for:
-phil4:8, think i woke up with this swirling around in my mind today. whatever is TRUE, PURE, LOVELY, dwell on these things
-reminder that i needn't fear; think this whole week, i've been picturing myself getting disowned by my parents and kicked out of the family, HAH.. why? i dont know. this is the mental image when i think about the future. skewed? i hope so. pessimistic view? perhaps. lots of tears? think so. still amazed at the grace + strength +love of God? always.
-aptmates;
-books; + people who let me borrow them.
-getting up early; so i can go on the rest of the day =)
-vanilla chai, so i'm actually awake in class! hahaha
-podcast at 2x speed. this is kind of incredible.

just one this week =)

always thankful for:
-the gospel

away from sd..

Seems like everytime I fly from sd to sj, my flight gets delayed ><" Boo! So I didn't get home until 11p or midnight-ish. The finals week also messed up my sleeping schedule, and waking up at 5am that morning didn't help with the headache either. All around, I'm just.. ahh so good to be home. =D

Thankfulness:
-slim, syu (! =D) & all the encouragements/cookies/goodies
-lighthouse - seriously, study hall was awesome <3
-mchoi. <3 <3 <3 for feeding me, letting me study at her place, staying up till 6am typing up notes for me, encouraging me that it's okay, explaining all those confusing concepts to me
-j. patience with me. what the ridiculous, right? thank God for His grace! totally do not deserve any of it.
-the apt. i totally took over our living room table with all my pieces of organized-but-messy-papers-everywhere
-the home church: they have been praying for daddy. makes me smile lots

finals week

this past week:
paper due monday
paper due wednesday
lab report wednesday
final friday

equals, super hectic.

yet with all this busy-ness that was going on this week, i was able to pull through just fine - praise God for strength! (phil 4:13 woot)


thankfulness:
-strength (seriously, i don't know how i slept at 4am and got up at 8am every day... ridiculous!
-tea n more, i was soooo productive!
-peace, especially during this time
-kathy&jr!! =D makes me smile lots lots lots.
-j, because =) humble, understanding, so lenient with me. hah =)=)
-MY CLASS!! <3 I LOVE MY CLASS. =)

humility

jy preached for the youth yesterday - topic was humility. Such a good reminder that we (our works, all things we do) cannot merit favor from God; His grace alone is sufficient. Think, throughout the message, though God's wrath was emphasized, it just makes His grace so, so much more precious. Praise Him for that! =)

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thankfulness:

-retreat: I was physically exhausted both before going and after coming back, but spiritually.. so good =)

-talk & lunch w/V; though it was short, brought a little peace to my heart.

-C, and S. But as always.

-jy. Shelbs say it's b/c I'm still in the "honeymoon stage", whatever that means. But no, really, every single time I think about it, I'm constantly amazed at God and how underserving I am of everything He has given me.

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Finals week starts this week for me. I'm pretty scared. Pray that, whatever I do, may I not loose sight.

one week

So many things to be thankful for.

-the Lord's grace and mercy. How I'm getting up at 7:30am every single day consistently is a miracle in itself.

-the gospel

-lighthouse: super encouraged, that so many people are so happy for us.

-the bf =)

I'm excited for retreat! Go RED! wheeee.

week in thankfulness

all in all, long story short, I cannot thank God enough for giving me patience when I didn't want to wait, strength when I had none, trust when I was lost.

past few days seemed to be extra long, but in a good way =)

i'm so, so, so encouraged by all our friends/church family =D

and super excited for what's to come, knowing that God is watching over us (as always!).

what a Monday

God knew what I was going through, and blessed me with such a glorious day!

-LoR: perhaps one of my bigger worries, since everyone says their non-sci LoR is usually the weakest. I was scared that I wouldn't even get one, since I took the class a year ago, and I don't know any of my other non-sci profs (who has appt-only OH? ><). Well, whatevs, I totally just barged in, without much prep, and said "do you remember me?" and this is what i've been doing, "can i get a letter?"
and she was SO nice, "SURE! =D =D"

Yup. Problem, solved.

-Saw my first surgery. I was in the room, scrubbed in, with masks, glasses, bunnysuit, everything! Surgeon was super nice and explained to me a lot of stuff. I did get a little light-headed towards the end though (hahah what the, "hammer please" "saw please" "oh oopps, forgot to tell you blood would get everywhere"). But it was still an amazing experience. One thing I noticed more than any, is what an amazing, fun relationship the surgeon has with his staff (nurses anesthesiologist etc etc). They were totally joking and making fun of one another - it was super cute.


=)


&, thanks for those who have been praying for me + family. Dad is coming back this weekend, I'm excited.

and the clock keeps on ticking

thankful for:
-not knowing what do to. It's actually quite scary. But doesn't that just always bring me back to Him?
-waking up crying. Makes everything so much more real. I know now. Regardless, he was still family.
-Southwest free tickets. Knowing I could go back in ~1hr30min. Brings a little peace in my heart.
-small group & friends. Prayers.
-strength He provides, when I have none.

fresh air

thankful for,

-the fresh morning air, pressing against my face as I ran with my roommate.
-being safe, driving skills do not suck so so badly, I suppose.
-seeing old friends, and realize how much I've changed.
-even when I'm all confused and have no idea what to think, knowing that I can cling on God, that He has a perfectly good plan for me, is awesomely comforting. Do I still struggle with it? Yes. But I'm constantly reminded of the goodness, and God's sovereignty. And that alone should be enough, should satisfy.

God is most glorified when you are most satisfied in Him.
-John Piper

new week

week1
I'm a little bummed, no one seem to want to play. hahaha
Maybe a sign.

Oh well.

my week in thankful-ness:
I'm so thankful for break. Now I'm back, I'm, hahah, back to being very confused.
One minute I'm totally clear, and the next, I'm just, ack.
break was so good.. =)

Thankful for A, & N, for driving me home after my late late class =)

to be thankful

During the hardest summer of my life to date, I learned to lean on the Lord the most. Perhaps it was because I had nothing else to hope for, nothing else to depend on - whatever the case, it was a precious time and will always hold a special place in my heart (although this is by no means saying I would gladly take the mcats over again - trust me, I don't). I know that prayers and constantly meditating on His goodness had helped me tremendously, but also one thing that kept me going was constantly give thanks to HIM. No joke, I would wake up and tell myself 5 things I am thankful (from the previous day or just in general), or give a quick prayer of thanks before completely knocking out on my makeshift bed.
I'm not super good about blogging, so I won't make some ridiculous promise like I'd post in this thankfulness part daily. So the goal, at least once a week.. =)

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the sisters I have in Christ
I have trouble sleeping; I have nightmares, every night; the mother noticed my constant sighing and random bursts of "AH" and is beginning to question... but despite all these, I'm constantly being reminded of how good God is and that He has a plan for everything. The sisters at LBC are so encouraging.



We definitely had our share of rough patches and silent treatments, but for the past couple of years, she's been with me through it all. I called her at 3am in the morning when I was panicking, didn't know what to do, all alone at my brand new apartment. <3




"you're trying!!"
i think that says enough.. <3



Two years, we never really talked, even once. This past quarter, strangely, I was the TA for the class she's taking! And hence the start of our Monday Dates =) I like her lots.

thanksgiving 2009 [home]

-much thanks to the Yang brothers and Steph for giving me a ride home/back to sd :) the car ride, although super super long, was filled with jokes and mucho randomness that brought smiles and laughters. I like them lots and lots.

-time with family was so good. and so precious & dear to my heart. Thomas is growing up so fast! Yet, he still shows so much love and adoration towards me (totally do not deserve). He's learning that not everything will go his way, and accepting it with as much joy as possible (<3 <3).
-funny story: I was so exhausted Thursday morning, but since Thomas loves to play Wii, I played Smash with him. Because I suck, we teamed up to play against CPUs. Because I suck so badly, I died within 5 seconds, so Thomas had to take on CPUs by himself. While waiting for him to finish up that round, I totally just knocked out on the couch. =/ =( He woke me up half an hour later. What a fail!

That's all the randomness during the two-day thanksgiving two-day drive to norcal.
Here's what I really wanted to write down.

Night of Thanksgiving, sort of like a tradition now, the Lin's invited the Mandarin Congregation to their place for potluck. My view towards BCC is one of worry and concern. But since I'm not home very often, I can't say much because I don't know much. Can I assume anything? Absolutely not. So even though I worry and worry, I can only pray; very thankful that at least my parents are attending church. For nothing else, at least I know the Word of God is being opened at least once a week.
I digress. During dinner, I got to talk to J and M. I'm not sure how exactly we got onto the topic, but I got to share with them my struggles throughout this past year. I told them the mistakes I made, the lessons I learned, the struggles that I suffered, the things that made/makes my heart cry, the things that worries me, the nightmares I have, the battles I'm fighting, the uncertainties that makes me unable to sleep, the fears I can't get rid off. But more than my problems and my struggles, I was able to share how great our God is, how dependable, how faithful, how loving. That it is truly by His grace, that I am where I am today.

What a blessing. To be able to tell them my struggles and the things God has been teaching me. To pass on my knowledge, so that they may benefit from it.



I did not anticipate this at all, weren't even prepared for such "heavy topics" (as J referred to it). But, it was so right. Thanksgiving night -- how very much thankful I am that I was able to talk to them.
I see now that I have benefitted so much from Lighthouse's teaching and examples shown by older brothers/sisters & peers. How can I NOT share?

more than just food

Towards the end of the summer, Jeff and I were talking about having a costa verde potluck every once in a while since so many of us are living there. We decided to go for monthly. Last night, we had our november one. yay for thanksgiving food. seriously now my favorite meal ever.
More than just eating together and playing games, the conversations we were able to have was SO good.
It made me realize how much I'm still in need of learning and studying, how much I don't know, how much I still lack. I've actually been questioning the whole evolution for a while now (ever since last spring when I took bild3), but for the most part, I just kind of said, I believe in the Bible, so yes God created everything; I couldn't justify what evolution is talking about based on all the evidence. Drove me nuts so eventually I just stopped thinking about it.
It's definitely a topic worth knowing, since the Bible says we should always be prepared and ready to answer questions. I'm so thankful we got a chance to share our opinions and our own convictions.

Costa had another blackout around midnight. We were having such a great conversation, that we just figured we'll talk until the light comes back again. But, nope, 1:30am in the morning and still no electricity. Poop!


We talked about things we were struggling with, things that's been on our mind. So good.

The biggest point I realized, was that even though I'm tired/busy/sick for the majority of the time, I am still doing much, much, much better than I deserve. Thank God.




Another note, I'm really frustrated with myself. In terms of how much words can impact me, even after all these time; how much I... suck (for lack of better word).

So in the end, I couldn't quite sleep even when it was 2am in the morning.

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Bright side, because of our blackout, Shelby & I were able to meet our neighbors! hahah, God is in control.


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totally unrelated: the funniest thing just happened: a bunch of us are at geisel studying. All of a sudden, we hear music playing. Apparently this dude thought his earphone was plugged in but it really wasnt, so all the people around him (including our table) were laughing and debating on whether or not to tell him. Shelby and I, instead, just started snapping to the beat of the song.
Life's funny moments.