a white christmas!

Christmas! This year around, the familia went to Reno, NV for ski/snowboarding trip.. so, that means, a white Christmas!





Look at the brother and his rockstar sign! isn't he just adorable? <3




I think this has to be my favorite photo from the trip - I love the water splashes. This is the edited version... maybe I'll put the original up sometime, too. =)




Anddd, during the trip, the brother turned me into a gamer. (no edit, a little overexposed but i love my expression, isn't it hardcore? =D)


I think it was a fairly successful trip around =)

amazon prime

I'm so giggly, having prime again. I can't quite stop smiling when I think about it - which is quite often since I found out this afternoon.

Yesterday, I believe I spent 1+ hour on amazon.com, trying to come up with the $25 dollar requirement, and beating myself over not thinking about these things earlier.


Wootwootwoothoooo!
<3 little things make me happy.

no more resolutions; just change

Four days away - no insomnia, no nightmares... bless =)

the brother

He said to me yesterday, at 11pm,

"Melody!! isn't it past your bed timeee??"

"... =O okay, I'll go to bed"

"don't forget to brush your teeth!!"

"...okay yes"

"and wash your face!!"

"...okay yes.."

i like trees

Looked through old photos; really like this one:



pathway from the bear to warren mall. taken spring break 09

to be thankful

During the hardest summer of my life to date, I learned to lean on the Lord the most. Perhaps it was because I had nothing else to hope for, nothing else to depend on - whatever the case, it was a precious time and will always hold a special place in my heart (although this is by no means saying I would gladly take the mcats over again - trust me, I don't). I know that prayers and constantly meditating on His goodness had helped me tremendously, but also one thing that kept me going was constantly give thanks to HIM. No joke, I would wake up and tell myself 5 things I am thankful (from the previous day or just in general), or give a quick prayer of thanks before completely knocking out on my makeshift bed.
I'm not super good about blogging, so I won't make some ridiculous promise like I'd post in this thankfulness part daily. So the goal, at least once a week.. =)

---
the sisters I have in Christ
I have trouble sleeping; I have nightmares, every night; the mother noticed my constant sighing and random bursts of "AH" and is beginning to question... but despite all these, I'm constantly being reminded of how good God is and that He has a plan for everything. The sisters at LBC are so encouraging.



We definitely had our share of rough patches and silent treatments, but for the past couple of years, she's been with me through it all. I called her at 3am in the morning when I was panicking, didn't know what to do, all alone at my brand new apartment. <3




"you're trying!!"
i think that says enough.. <3



Two years, we never really talked, even once. This past quarter, strangely, I was the TA for the class she's taking! And hence the start of our Monday Dates =) I like her lots.

break so far..

1. I got attacked by the bushes next to my garage.
2. My beloved mac is dirty. Ack.
3. I' been sleeping past 10am. What the ridiculous.
4. Costco chocolate peppermint bark is definitely making me fat. And it's sitting right in front of me. All the time.
5. I can't believe I got attacked by those nasty bushes.

things i want to do

in no particular order, and to be updated as I think of more:

[before I graduate, hopefully]

-biking at Coronado
-go to Sea World, preferably during christmas time so I can.. stand under the tree of lights, look up, and spin
-learn how to surf

-learn how to skate
-paintball
-go kart
-eat sushi off of one of those conveyer belt thingy
-watch clouds at night (or day, i guess)
-merrygoaround
-swings! & have meaningful talks.

[after]
-go on hot air balloon!

[on-going?]

-learn how to draw/paint

-collect sand in glass jars =)

sickness

And here I am again.
Honestly feel like I've been sick more so this year than ever.

Guess it's God's way of telling me to rest.



I have family problems, too. =(

confused frustrated

I thought hard about it. Longest hour perhaps. Lots of should I, should I nots. Lots of ifs and what abouts. I just wanted to bury my head under the pillow. Dig a hole in the ground. Escape.

My problem is too, long, too often. too much on my mind.

I resolved not to think about it, because I honestly do not want to. Yet my mind wanders back to the topic. Always, seems like. It's getting to the point that I'm questioning if I'm sinning -- idolatry? The very thing I'm constantly fighting, guarding against.

Failing miserably.

I'm so frustrated with myself. Wish I can just stop. Is it that difficult? Shouldn't be.

But it is what it is.




Give me the strength to change. To accept. To take everything with a grain of salt.

some materialistic things

-tripod

-calligraphy pens/calligraphy set

-costco cookbook

-50mm 1.4 lens for my nikon (or, 50mm 1.8D)
-baker's twine (red&white, orange&white, green&white, blue&white.. woot!)

-cream colored scarf

-black scarf
-springform baking pan
-cake stand

-simple, pretty watch

eventually:
-house with a/some window seats! super pretty

Yay for CitiBank & Budgeting

My alarm totally didn't wake me up this morning, but the sound of my textmsg did! haha how weird.



CitiBank is officially in my legit book. Called and told me someone's using my card. >[

Good thing I keep all my receipts and log everything I buy. =D yay for budgeting and keeping track of everything.

So not good

Heart was beating like crazy.


Must not be good.

yay for not being sick again. after 7/10 weeks of sickness.

thanksgiving 2009 [home]

-much thanks to the Yang brothers and Steph for giving me a ride home/back to sd :) the car ride, although super super long, was filled with jokes and mucho randomness that brought smiles and laughters. I like them lots and lots.

-time with family was so good. and so precious & dear to my heart. Thomas is growing up so fast! Yet, he still shows so much love and adoration towards me (totally do not deserve). He's learning that not everything will go his way, and accepting it with as much joy as possible (<3 <3).
-funny story: I was so exhausted Thursday morning, but since Thomas loves to play Wii, I played Smash with him. Because I suck, we teamed up to play against CPUs. Because I suck so badly, I died within 5 seconds, so Thomas had to take on CPUs by himself. While waiting for him to finish up that round, I totally just knocked out on the couch. =/ =( He woke me up half an hour later. What a fail!

That's all the randomness during the two-day thanksgiving two-day drive to norcal.
Here's what I really wanted to write down.

Night of Thanksgiving, sort of like a tradition now, the Lin's invited the Mandarin Congregation to their place for potluck. My view towards BCC is one of worry and concern. But since I'm not home very often, I can't say much because I don't know much. Can I assume anything? Absolutely not. So even though I worry and worry, I can only pray; very thankful that at least my parents are attending church. For nothing else, at least I know the Word of God is being opened at least once a week.
I digress. During dinner, I got to talk to J and M. I'm not sure how exactly we got onto the topic, but I got to share with them my struggles throughout this past year. I told them the mistakes I made, the lessons I learned, the struggles that I suffered, the things that made/makes my heart cry, the things that worries me, the nightmares I have, the battles I'm fighting, the uncertainties that makes me unable to sleep, the fears I can't get rid off. But more than my problems and my struggles, I was able to share how great our God is, how dependable, how faithful, how loving. That it is truly by His grace, that I am where I am today.

What a blessing. To be able to tell them my struggles and the things God has been teaching me. To pass on my knowledge, so that they may benefit from it.



I did not anticipate this at all, weren't even prepared for such "heavy topics" (as J referred to it). But, it was so right. Thanksgiving night -- how very much thankful I am that I was able to talk to them.
I see now that I have benefitted so much from Lighthouse's teaching and examples shown by older brothers/sisters & peers. How can I NOT share?