planned

I know what I wanted, what I planned for, what I expected.

Perhaps its quite stupid on my part, but sometimes, I feel as if I cannot allow myself room for another option, so I can't, won't fail.

Okay, not smart.

{Prov 16:9 - The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps}

A lighter note, I got a second interview! This is pretty amazing considering I pretty much saw no signs of hope after my first one.

still shaking

{Deuteronomy 31:6 - Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid of tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.}

feels like sophmore year

unbalanced

the whatif's

When thinking about / worrying about the future (which I found myself doing a lot more this past year as I'm almost done with college..), I'm always so in need to be reminded of trusting in God's provision. {James 4:11-15} was the verse that I read (and re-read and re-read some more), but girltalk (by the Mahaney ladies) mentioned some good points to consider in their post today (though the intended audience is mothers, I think we can all benefit from it =))

{Matthew 6:33-34 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own}

{James 4:11-15 – Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow, You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.}

The Mahaneys write:

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control.

There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)

There are few things that I've always highlighted within the prov31 passage {v 12, 15, 25, 30}. But I guess I never truly noticed/meditated on it enough.

{Prov 31:25 - Strength and dignity are her clothings, And she smiles at the future.}

8

6:30 club w/the apt!

=) i just like to say,

i heart my apartmentmates! they are the best. =D

i keep on having nightmares, so i guess waking up early isn't too too difficult (for now). hahah, it's the staying awake during the day part =) yay iced tuxedo / whitemocha~

LKC #1

My mentality before was always reluctant to give up my Wednesday night, and then it slowly turned into (or maybe it was simultaneously) the excuse of being too busy with work/volunteer/school/other things on my to-do list (sidenote: crossing off to-do lists is probably the best feeling/things to do. ever. that's one thing I miss as I now switched everything to my ipod). I kept on thinking "maybe next time I'd be less busy". But hahaha, we all know how that goes.

One thing I truly took to heart, throughout these years in college, was that we make time to do things that we desire to, things that we love (believe PaulMolina first mentioned this to me when I met with him freshman year, and then repeatedly hearing this from lbc in general). So, well, my schedule is no way any less busy compared to before, but.. I think VBS did something strange to me :) those little kiddos = ♥

"Questions"

-something/some people, if we don't know them, our lives wouldn't be any different.

-but knowing God makes a difference!

To you it was shown that you might know that the Lord, He is God; there is no other besides Him. Out of the heavens He let you hear His voice to discipline youl and on earth He let you see His great fire, and you heard His words from the midst of the fire. Because He loved your fathers, therefore He chose their descendants after them. And He personally brought you from Egypt by His great power, driving out from before you nations greater and mightier than you, to bing you in and to give you their land for an inheritance, as it is today. Know therefore today, and take it to your heart, that the Lord, He is God in heaven above and on the earth below; there is no other. So you shall keep His statutes and His commandments which I am giving you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may live long on the land which the Lord your God is giving you for all time. [Deuteronomy 4:35-40]

-God has revealed himself: two responses

1. to know God

but knowing God isn't enough

2. lay it to your heart

-How do we know God? learn about God? --- through the Bible.

-we can't know God fully, but we can truly

-loving God, not unless we know Christ as Lord AND Savior

Though the message was short, it was sweet and such a good reminder. Especially nice since I'm going through Deuteronomy. Psalm 119:11 was actually my very first memory verse, so it's always stuck in my head. This is particularly important and true, as I'm fighting for diligence and self-discipline.

--- main conviction: I think joining the ministry = commitment, and should be treated as such. My three hours on Wednesday nights should be devoted to those kiddos, despite whatever I have on my list of to-dos. Though midterms and whatnot are understandable excuses, they are excuses nonetheless.

First time I left early, hopefully the last.

psychology classes = win!

this morning...
i sipped on iced vanilla chai from mandeville coffee cart + watched cute baby videos.

and then i walked to my next class and thought about hamster for another hour or so.

= classes are fun :)

china #2

some things i've seen + been thinking through

(i've been meaning to write a more elaborate post on these things and i kept on telling myself that i will, but i just get busier and busier, so.. =/ i'm just gonna post whatever comes within the next fifteen mins. haha)

-the idea/view on marriage (and dating): horrible to fully realize/understand that marriage nowadays are simply a way, a mean of bettering yourself. haha looking back, i am so thankful that back when i was not saved, i still held dating/marriage to a standard where i wouldnt date a guy i can't see myself marrying. i like that principle =)

-divorce: i was so troubled. at the time, couldn't think of what to say cause all i had in my mind were Biblical principles that non-Christians would not understand. but forgot that all else aside, none of it is of any importance in light of one's salvation. this was stressful. think i was/am still pretty upset at myself.

okay, perhaps i'll elaborate more laters. boo for back-to-back midterms =(

china!

hangout with my grandma lots & lots!

w/cousin

photoshoot that took ~12-13 hours; with layers and layers and layers of makeup

qipao shopping =]

this is what i grew up on. haha cause my mom loves it =)

mcD tastes better in asia. kiwi sundae

supermarkets are super legit (4 stories..). the escalators are cooool!

yumm

more yumm. bread = ♥

the guy wrote a verse/poem? using my name =) that was pretty cool