(this is not on Matt4/Mark1)
I remember going fishing with my uncle when I was little. I think I absolutely
hated it. It was so boring (but of course, I was only a kid then and sitting anywhere for more than five minutes equated to boring). But for some reason, my uncle/grandpa loved it.
And I guess the question would be, did my relatives like the process, or simply the result of catching fish(es)?
I think I can argue for the process aspect. The dessert after a meal, the reward after hardwork, is perhaps something to look forward to, a motivator, maybe. But learning to love the process is quite precious as well. How can you do things well if you do not enjoy doing them at all? I look at my highschool life, and have no good thoughts about it, no good memories. All I can say is whatever I did got me to college. Ouch. That's rather sad. Yes I ended up getting into almost all the schools I applied to (ucla are jerks), yes the end result is pretty good, but the process of it all? definitely not a highlight. This, this is why I resolved that my college years are not going to be simply wasted for the sole purpose of getting into medschool.
I won't argue that sometimes the road is rather bumpy (hehe hello secondaries, how you eat up all my time), but why not pause and think of all the good that comes of it? Take my last summer, I think I was pretty depressed for a good chunk of it, but I look back and can only be thankful of God's mercy and grace. The loneliness/tears/whatevers, taught me to be dependent on God and on Him alone. How can I say that 31 (result) was all I liked? no wayyy. If I had to live it over again, I'd wish for the same (maybe higher score and less heartache would be nice, but hey, oh well)
All this is to say to myself that secondaries are not going to kill me. And coming to the conclusion that I will be able to live without medschool if it comes down to it, well, makes this whole thing a little more bearable.
Going back to fishing. You are not the fish. As someone on dry land, you can only control what type of bait, how much, where you put in the bait. You don't get to control which fish is going to come to you. In a nutshell, if you can't control, why worry? Do the best on your part, stop the unnecessary worrying.
Along similar lines, it doesn't matter how unlikely you are going to catch a fish with your bait, you are definitely not going to get anything if you don't have a bait to start with. The rebuke/encouragement to me here was: stop trying to make everything perfect, stop thinking about how unlikely this this this would happen; if you don't at least attempt (apply), then you are for sure not going to get in (admitted).
All are just random thoughts cause I was talking to someone about it today while complaining about medschool applications. Can't think of any biblical references on top of my head, so take everything with a grain of salt.
