I have a tendency to overwhelm myself... worry too much? perhaps. Stress out unnecessarily. This week, particularly, swayed towards the direction of forgetting to breathe in and simply
resting in God's word. It's like, positive feedback loop. But, in the no-good direction =( I felt my days were centered around school: forgot to eat my meals more often, headaches were more frequent, couldn't function as well, etcetc. Made me sad. Knowing how I neglected, feeling I wasn't doing all that well, I spent the whole afternoon reading, despite the enormous amount of schoolwork +workwork waiting =D.. did my Titus2 study, Recovering readings, and tried to catch up with my reading plans. Finally feel
refreshed.
---
can't help but share what i've learned =)
& it'd be a nice way for me to organize my thoughts more
{references are from Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by Piper and Grudem}
A little background...
Growing up, I was always taught to become someone who would be successful and independent; submission simply was not a part of our family vocabulary. My parents, relatives, schoolteachers, etcetc all preached equality. I learned that I'm just as good as the boys in my class - if not better. I think I intuitively knew how to make people like me, so I was adored by many. I practically had everything - viewed highly by teachers and peers at school, praises from relatives, all that jazz. In many ways, I felt I was much better than the boys around me. So why would I ever submit to another -- particular, a guy?
First time hearing about the role of men&women...
I distinctively remembering hearing messages on lead/submit, Sunday sermons and DTR series. I was always so taken aback -- what do you mean? I'm just as strong, I can do just as much as any other guy, why would I ever want to listen to another? The girls and I used to stay up late at night arguing such things; I was simply blinded and could not see things from the correct perspective.
Learning the role from a biblical standpoint...
Understanding the gospel, God opened my eyes to see the role of men&women from His perspective. The words, leader, submitting, no longer had build-in negative connotations. I was able to come to terms with, understand that, leader does not mean dictator; submitting does not equate to slaving away your life.
Studying this topic...
I have much to learn, as I am still struggling, trying to come to terms with what to do with my future. Dear syu suggested this book. At first I was intimidated - gee it looks like a textbook! but, I think I'm really enjoying it. Reading through this today was definitely the highlight of my week. I can't help but to share =D
From {chapter 1}...
"leader is not a demanding demeanor - but the demeanor of Christ. ; lead to depend on Christ, and not himself"
-Piper put this concept so, so eloquently, and stresses it over and over again throughout the chapter. To understand that I am not loving another to please that other person but to learn to depend on Christ more, the perspective changes. It would be, should be a joy to have your husband lead - only because you know your love for Christ will grow more and more.
"a general pattern of initiative. ; to provide for does not equal to she cannot help"
-I think some can have a mistaken view that the guy is supposed to do everything. For me, not so much of a struggle. I don't expect guys to do all, to be the first to blabhalbahb. But these parts of the chapter was surprisingly comforting to me. It's almost like, hey, I'm not useless and I can help!
haha, I don't know. It just struck me as a comforting thought.
"when both parents are present, disciplining should be done by the father"
-This struck me too because it was not present in my family. I started picturing what it would be like (for me and the little brother) if that were the case.
"a disposition to yield"
-love love love the word choice. Piper goes into why he picked disposition, and not behavior etcetc. Does not necessarily mean you are to give up all your thoughts, action, so you can submit. But rather, a heart; even discernment to know when to yield, how to, understand the meaning.
"freeing; delighting"
-see it as a JOY because God designed it -- and His design is ohsoperfect! It's not I'm-burdened-by-it, but rather, it-frees-me. It's not oh-I-have-to, but rather, I-really-want-to. It's not bitterness, but rather happiness.
[how, how appropriate! i love verses/thoughts that points me to take joy in all.. phil4:8 it!]
whew! it's 2am, that's all my brain can think through now. Perhaps more thoughts when I get through the next chapter =)
The overdue one picture/week.
